[PEACE. I found this unpublished post from June 2017. It could read the same for any year. There will always be stuff. As you read this, know that we all face struggles. And peace is available.]

This was supposed to be my year of peace. Not like The Year of Sue (In the Middle), but a year where my focus word was going to be PEACE, and I would gracefully float through the year, thinking peace-filled thoughts and letting peace drip off my fingertips.

Nope. To date, this year has been filled with the most anguish, sorrow, betrayal, stress, frustration, and anxiety I’ve ever experienced. Notice that peace is not listed. It has been hiding in the corner. Right where I’ve shoved it.

As per the title of the blog, we’re talking life. Love, sure. Laughter? At myself and the grands. But mostly, life.

Just this morning, while giving thanks for my breakfast, I asked Jesus for peace. His peace. My mind instantly popped to the story in the Bible (Matthew 8:23-27; Luke 8:22-25) of Jesus sleeping on the boat while the storm raged all around, frantic disciples fearing imminent drowning.

What I need is to be like Jesus, sleeping through the storm. Well, peacefully resting in the midst of the storm. That’s what I need to learn this year.

My thoughts switched to the disciples who should have taken their clue from the Master. He was napping, no concerns, things were fine. Ok, if Jesus is fine with this storm, we are fine with it. Sure there’s water coming in, the wind is blowing up some fine waves, rain is coming down in sheets, but if Jesus is good, we’re good.

But no. They forgot the bit about Jesus being in charge of all the stuff. All. The. Stuff. Weather, lakes, boats, drowning included. Me? I would have joined the friends on board. “Jesus, Jesus, Jesus! Wake-up-wake-up-wake-up-wake-up! We’re all gonna die!!!”

Yes. That would be me. Totally forgetting everything I’ve already seen and heard. Living in the drama of the moment.

Instead of who I want to be, I’m just like them. The eyewitnesses who saw every big and little thing Jesus did, more than we can know this side of Heaven, and they still missed the Big Picture until later, after everything was said and done and the Lord ascended to Heaven and the Holy Spirit came to dwell in believers.

I forget. The big and little things Jesus did and does. I even have the entire Bible to read – something many of the disciples contributed to but were not around to see completed.

It’s not circumstances I need to focus on, but Him. I KNOW this. But…

I don’t want a year of this chaos.

Peace. Some of it may be me allowing Him to redirect my thoughts. Some of it is my choice to wallow, see the negative, hang on to the pain with all ten of my fingers and toes. Some is allowing the Holy Spirit to fill me, daily, every minute, each second.

The year of peace – when I allow myself to nap in the boat with Jesus while the storm rages all around. I’m sure I’ll peek around to see what’s going on, glance at the Captain to see if all is well, then snuggle back up for a good rest.

Peace.